Wise 'Old' Teeth

I've been lucky and haven't had any of my wisdom teeth grow in. The first time I got my two bottom ones out when I was a senior in high school, thankfully, I blocked it from my mind and do not remember a thing. Luckily, my wisdom teeth has caused zero problems. Okay, so they’re impacted. I don’t really understand the concept of going through surgery with its long recovery time and possible complications to address a problem that may never arrive. I figure this is a money-making scheme that starts at the top of the American Association of Oral and Maxillofacial Surgeons and trickles its way all the way down to the American Dental Association. But I succumbed. The nagging has gone on for years since my last ones were pulled, and nobody likes to be nagged. Plus I’m young, with health insurance of my own, and it does seem odd that these teeth will never see the light of day. Besides, I’m sure teeth extraction technology has advanced from the days of metal tools and pliers. My hopes are the doctor will vaporize my teeth with a friggin’ laser beam in a bloodless operation. That would be cool!
I decided beforehand to get totally knocked out. Give me everything so I don't hear or feel a thing. And don't call me a wimp for doing that either. I'd like to see a "real man" go under without anything just to get a couple teeth pulled. I have to admit, as a result, Iget super sick from the side-effect of anaesthesia.

The first thing I noticed when I got in the operation room was the dental tray of metal tools and pliers. OH BOY! Then they wanted to strap my arms into the chair so I wouldn't punch anyone out during the procedure. As soon as they touched me, my hands started running like facets... I asked them for paper towels to hold on to so I would drip all over the place. I will never forget their faces when she handed it to me and then grabbed a towel to wipe up all the sweat that was pouring off of me. I just smiled politely and said "the laughing gas is making me feel soo light headed" just so i could escape the embarrassment. Then it went to dark...

Next thing, I woke up in a chair outside of the room, and thought I was flying. It was such a weird, gross feeling and Greg standing their talking to the assistant, who, I swear, is the fastest talker of the west! She then asked us to leave in a different way we came in. It was like, all patients that go under, need to exit the building in shame. While the people waiting to see the "Dr" have no idea what they are in for. Greg and I laughed about that later.

Advice to those of you who still have your wisdom teeth: DON’T DO IT. And if it eventually does cause problems, only take out one at a time. You will be less likely to go through days of recovery, where the different stages of your facial appearance represents a species from the animal kingdom:

Day
1: Elephant woman
2: Chipmunk
3: Hamster storing peanuts

Now excuse me while I go rinse my mouth with warm salt water and pop a painkiller.

Don't forget Easter!

Sunday's are known for being 'family days'. Or at least that is what I tell my parents when I call them every single Sunday.. Anyways, I was chatting with the family this past Sunday and the topic of Easter came up. I asked my mom when it was and she was terribly shocked by the fact that I hadn't known this. I heard her say, "Hey Al, Sam just asked when Easter was this year, can you believe that?!" To make myself look good and counter the fact that I didn't know when it was, I told her I was being an active participant in Lent and she replied, "And you don't even know when Easter is?!" I laughed, because leave it to me for not knowing and yet give up chips for lent!! It was a perfect 'Sam-ism' as I like to call it :)

Below is a picture, which happens to be one of my favorite cards I received from my parents for Easter one year... My mom ALWAYS bites the ears off the chocolate bunnies, ALWAYS and has for the longest time. It's tradition! Something I will pass along to my kid when that time comes..
But for now, I will pass this along and PLEASE put this date on your calendar, April 4th = EASTER! Surprise the family by knowing next time you call or see them for family day!

Happy Friday!

Happy Friday!

This picture is right on with my desk at work. If you look too quick, you think my head is a stack of papers or a business card holder . (I'll admit, I set up booby traps just to see if anyone notices. you'd be surprised by the outcome!) Sometimes, when I'm not in the mood to deal with ANYONE, which is often, I make my chair lower so no one can find me. It's a sick joke but makes me laugh pretty damn hard when I hear them asking if I'm here!

Sad that things like this amuse me now :)

Have a wonderful weekend and go play outside!

Eat the Fuckers...

When greg first showed me the videos "Between two ferns" with Zach G, I don't think I was in the right mood to watch it. SO... I am now giving it another shot and thought this was hysterical with his latest subject to interview...

Click the link to stream the video:

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/60072add5a/between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis-ben-stiller

This happens at our house...

I'm sitting here at work and greg decided to send me a link to an article he enjoyed and can relate to. So, I clicked on the link and decided to read it. I was laughing so hard, in tears and have a few co-workers ask me what was so funny. I couldn't form words...

Please read on:

E:
"I sleep on my back so I like to have the covers at the end nice and loose creating a roomy little foot tent so there's no pressure on my feet, ankles or toes.

I like where you're going there.

The wife, on the other hand, likes to tuck everything the fuck in tantamount to shrink-wrapping the bottom half of the goddamn bed like it's a palate of cereal boxes at Costco.

QUEEN OF THE HARPIES!

She mostly sleeps on her belly, which naturally points her toes, thus causing no foot discomfort, and hates how the bed looks when the sheets are untucked. I hate having pressure on my feet when I sleep. I suspect we're both silently annoyed at the way the other sleeps, but since sleep is so important, we've managed to keep a "live and let live" policy in the face of our vague, mutual annoyance. Does this happen to you?

This does not happen to me, because the Mrs. and I are both back sleepers. I have a solution for you, though. One of the first things a doctor tells you when you have a shit back is to NEVER sleep on your stomach. Ever. Totally fucks up your shit. So tell that fine lass of yours that, if she treasures her posture, she needs to sleep on her back or side. IT'S FOR HER BENEFIT! And why does she care what the bed looks like when you're in it? You're fucking asleep. Town And Country aren't going to show up to photograph you.
I've said this before, but hotels are the fucking worst for toe confinement. They pack the sheets into the bed as tightly as humanly possible, so there's never adequate space for my feet when I first get in bed. Then I have to kick and thrash to get the sheets loose, then the whole sheet and blanket structure goes to shit. FIX YO SHEETS!"

"Aaaahhhhhh!!!" screams the strange, adorable man in the Sandra Bullock T-shirt.

I was excited too for her winning, but not to this extent...

The newest family member...

Last weekend we got a phone call from Greg's family notifying us of the newest member of the family, Mini! As you can see, the proud parents of Jim and Kristy and Mini's brother Buca are very excited to welcome Mini into this world! Mini arrived Saturday, 2/27 weighting 567 lbs, sleek black with a huge sun roof. What more could these parents ask for :)

There is hope that Uncle Greg and Auntie Sam will get a ride around the block and are working on details of that now. Congrats Jim, Kristy and Buca, Mini's a beauty!