This happens at our house...

I'm sitting here at work and greg decided to send me a link to an article he enjoyed and can relate to. So, I clicked on the link and decided to read it. I was laughing so hard, in tears and have a few co-workers ask me what was so funny. I couldn't form words...

Please read on:

E:
"I sleep on my back so I like to have the covers at the end nice and loose creating a roomy little foot tent so there's no pressure on my feet, ankles or toes.

I like where you're going there.

The wife, on the other hand, likes to tuck everything the fuck in tantamount to shrink-wrapping the bottom half of the goddamn bed like it's a palate of cereal boxes at Costco.

QUEEN OF THE HARPIES!

She mostly sleeps on her belly, which naturally points her toes, thus causing no foot discomfort, and hates how the bed looks when the sheets are untucked. I hate having pressure on my feet when I sleep. I suspect we're both silently annoyed at the way the other sleeps, but since sleep is so important, we've managed to keep a "live and let live" policy in the face of our vague, mutual annoyance. Does this happen to you?

This does not happen to me, because the Mrs. and I are both back sleepers. I have a solution for you, though. One of the first things a doctor tells you when you have a shit back is to NEVER sleep on your stomach. Ever. Totally fucks up your shit. So tell that fine lass of yours that, if she treasures her posture, she needs to sleep on her back or side. IT'S FOR HER BENEFIT! And why does she care what the bed looks like when you're in it? You're fucking asleep. Town And Country aren't going to show up to photograph you.
I've said this before, but hotels are the fucking worst for toe confinement. They pack the sheets into the bed as tightly as humanly possible, so there's never adequate space for my feet when I first get in bed. Then I have to kick and thrash to get the sheets loose, then the whole sheet and blanket structure goes to shit. FIX YO SHEETS!"